Mother's Day

No, today is not Mother's Day. That was Sunday. Moms: What were you doing on Mother's Day this year? Mother's Day 2011 will always be bittersweet to me. I had my kids here, and that was great. I got a wonderful book that each one "signed" with a special personal message. I missed my mom, but know she is a much better place and can rejoice that I had the privilege of caring for her for the last 20 years of her life.
I got to pick dinner, and my wonderful husband cooked it (which, I'm happy to say, is the norm around here...he does the vast majority of the cooking). I went to church, the kids were pretty good, and it was First Communion Mass. I love going to First Communion Mass.
And I eagerly anticipated hearing sometime the next week that our dossier was submitted, we had our confirmation and could travel with a few weeks to meet our newest boys. Yes, Mother's Day 2011 WAS a great day while I was experiencing it.

We got a call this morning. I was so excited when the call came in. NOW, I will find out when we can travel.

It wasn't THAT call. Instead, I was tearfully informed that just 2 days before Mother's Day 2011, a mother's worst nightmare occurred, and I did not even know, and I could not even do anything.

Our "Jacob" passed away. The words were numb in my ear, in my head.

Today we mourn our child, who never knew us. I think that is the hardest. If he had come home, been loved, fed, tickled, hugged, and then died, well, at least I would know he knew a family's love. But life cheated him.

I am not eloquent in writing. I tend to ramble. But Jim is great and has expressed it very well....read it here....www.apapastory.blogspot.com
And a dear, dear friend of mine, also much more eloquent than I, shared her feelings: http://martiniadoptionroad.blogspot.com/

I can't add anything to these.
Mary